Big Love

I went to church today. I'm still leary about going, but I'm gonna try to push through. If anything, it's to support my son as he plays on the worship team.

I'll admit, I feel out of place. I've gotten out of the habit of being in a group of people. The introvert in me screams or rather, loudly whispers, to get out.

I think what gives me the most pause is what I feel - the inability to be myself. The pastor gave a sermon out of 1 Corinthians 13. The love chapter. All I can think of is I'm fearful to share my thoughts on love. I think the bigness of God's love offends people. We gather around like-minded people and congratulate ourselves on being one of the good guys. Champions of righteousness. And anyone who doesn't think like us is the enemy. A bad person doing harm.

It's been over a decade since I questioned the nature of hell. I've abandoned the cliche of pitchforks, smoke and brimstone. I think hell is a process, an important process, that refines away pain and separation, replacing it with love. Love for God. Love for self. Love for others.

But I dare not share this in a group for fear that I would take away their dogma of certainty. Someone who questions the nature of judgment and condemnation is a dangerous person. A heretic who is introducing chaos to order and defying orthodoxy. And authority won't allow for its influence to be questioned. 

The bigness of God's love is offensive.

God's love stands in sharp contrast to in groups and out groups. God loves all equally. There are no favorites. From the king to the peasant, God wishes the best for everyone. And for those who claim to be followers of the Way, that requires loving in an anti-tribal, anti-natural manner. To embrace true love is to stop the othering and start seeing the image of the Divine behind every eye. Liberal and conservative. Black and white. Gay and straight. Believer and atheist. Fundamentalist and mystic. All are targets of the love of God. Only when we stop seeing enemies and start seeing fellow travelers will we have any hope of experiencing the bigness of God's love.


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